I realized how tiring it is to be reminded that people see you differently now
Written by Crystal Onyema | May 27, 2026
As you probably know by now if you’ve been reading my column, my late uncle Brandon liked to stay on the move.
His career involved hands-on work, building things from the ground up, and figuring out problems on his own. That hardworking mentality wasn’t just part of his job. It was part of his personality. He liked feeling capable, useful, and active. Sitting still for too long just wasn’t him.
So when his Parkinson’s disease began to progress, one of the hardest adjustments for him wasn’t just the physical changes. It was when he realized that people were starting to treat him differently. And one of those people was me.
It wasn’t out of cruelty. I loved my uncle and wanted to protect him. But as his tremors and movement devolved, I started being extra careful around him. I spoke more gently, rushed to help before he could finish things himself, and sometimes watched him too closely instead of just being there with him.
One evening, we were standing outside talking when I noticed his tremors acting up more than usual. Without really thinking about it, in a soft tone, I immediately asked him if he was OK and whether he needed help.
His response caught me off guard. He snapped and told me he was cold and didn’t want people treating him like he was fragile. For a moment, the mood shifted completely. And honestly, I understood why.
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